that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
How naked do you want me to be?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
