You work out of a Hotel?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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