last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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