Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
