I have demons in me.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
