you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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