just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
