With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
