RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just want to make out with him forever
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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