Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
