my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
