you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
