im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
