maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
