physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
