physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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