sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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