i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
