I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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