weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
In America we eat man semen.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
