I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
