come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
