It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
