shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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