Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
