Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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