you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
