i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
God, I missed his penis.
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