1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
