): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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