Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
