They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
