First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
