He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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