I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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