i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
