I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
