This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I AM VODKA MAN
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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