Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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