therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i came on her dog
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
