What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
