I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
