I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I want her autograph on my taint
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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