What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
bring money and cleavage
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
