We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
