2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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