So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
