Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
