the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
