After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
