The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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