A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
