That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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